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The Illusion of Limerence - Alex Castaneda - TEDxSouthPasadenaHigh
You idealize them and put them on a pedestal. It is this unfulfilled, intense longing for the other person the limerent object which defines limerence, where the individual becomes "more or less obsessed by that person and spends much of their time fantasising about them". Finally, around midnight, Lauren told him that she could meet him the next day. Graham, however, moved in closely to her just as she was about to leave, kissed her on the cheek and asked for her number. If a certain thought has no previous connection with the limerent object, immediately one is made. What the limerent object said and did is recalled with vividness. It has been described as being "an involuntary potentially inspiring state of adoration and attachment to a limerent object LO involving intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings and behaviors from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation". A limerent fantasy can also involve an unusual, often tragic, event. He was usually able to charm women quite easily, but Lauren was different from all the other women he had dated. Each word and gesture is permanently available for review, especially those interpreted as evidence in favor of reciprocated feeling. A person in the state of limerence exaggerates the positive attributes of the object of his or her affection and downplays their flaws. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair , depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. This endpoint is counterintuitive, but it works.
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